Yield to Win: Why It's Important to Accept Influence From Your Partner

We all have conflict in our relationships, there is just no escaping it – the trick is to manage the conflict within your relationship in a way that you both walk out of it feeling respected and heard – notice that I did not say that you should walk out of it feeling like you have convinced your partner that you are right and they are wrong! 


One of the biggest mistakes most people make in their interpersonal relationships is trying to ‘win’ disagreements and arguments by trying to convince people to agree with them instead of giving a bit to get a bit.  As they say in the martial art Aikido, sometimes you need to yield to win. The strangest thing, often when you concede even a bit, you often end up getting more of what you want –otherwise as the saying goes, you win the battle, but lose the war.

What do the experts say?

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says that letting your partner influence you is one of the 7 principles to making marriage work. Dr. Gottman’s research shows that power sharing and accepting influence are vital components in managing conflict and strengthening your relationship. 


When we take the time to try to understand the other person’s perspective and let them feel heard they are more likely to do the same. Not only does this cut back on the conflict, it provides couples with the opportunity to work together and problem solve as a team. Win/win! 

What Happens When We Accept Influence From Our Partners?

When there is a conflict in the relationship and one of the partners does not feel heard or respected this can lead to a break down in communication. When partners accept influence from each other they are setting the groundwork for a more collaborative and rewarding relationship. As my husband so wisely says, you catch more bees with honey- so true! 


So next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, try to resist the urge to ‘win’ and instead try to hear what your partner has to say and accept their influence. You will be amazed at how it will not only stop the conflict but also strengthen your relationship.

by Jody Watson, RCC

Jody Watson is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in helping couples with their relationship and working with new parents and children.

Write a comment

Comments: 20
  • #1

    nice (Friday, 05 January 2018 07:37)

    Would you agree that [url=http://apexcorporation.info/]this is nice?[/url] Because I certainly believe so.

  • #2

    Australian top essay services (Friday, 05 January 2018 07:38)

    I completely agree with you here. It's very important to accept influence from your Australian top essay services partner for a better life. I have done that and my life after has just been fantastic!

  • #3

    steps to take care of skin (Monday, 08 October 2018 01:52)

    There are a few interesting points soon enough in the following paragraphs but I don’t determine if I see these people center to heart. There is some validity but I’m going to take hold opinion until I consider it further. Great write-up , thanks and now we want far more! Added to FeedBurner at the same time

  • #4

    Robinjack (Wednesday, 10 October 2018 04:38)

    Hi for super synopsis, but then I am glad for totally howling the Zune, and moreover pray such a, together with very good ratings some other type of a lot more made, beneficial analyse if is it doesn’t right choice for you.

  • #5

    Bed Sheets (Saturday, 10 November 2018 01:27)

    Good an very informative post. I will come back to your blog regullary.

  • #6

    Bed Sheets (Saturday, 10 November 2018 01:28)

    Good an very informative post. I will come back to your blog regullary.

  • #7

    Types of industries (Saturday, 10 November 2018 01:43)

    You completed a few good points there. I did a search on the matter and found nearly all folks will go along with with your blog.

  • #8

    Personal development definition (Saturday, 10 November 2018 02:21)

    Good site! I truly love how it is nice on my eyes it is. I am wondering how I might be notified when a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS feed which may do the trick? Have a nice day!

  • #9

    Fashion in usa 2019 (Saturday, 10 November 2018 04:22)

    every woman needs fine jewelries because it becomes a fashion statement of your personality;

  • #10

    Major events in 2019 usa (Saturday, 10 November 2018 04:44)

    Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue with your web site in internet explorer, may check this¡K IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a good portion of people will miss your fantastic writing because of this problem.

  • #11

    Robinjack (Friday, 16 November 2018 05:44)

    I see something genuinely interesting about your blog so I saved to my bookmarks .
    bone conduction headphones review 2018

  • #12

    AsharSeo (Sunday, 02 December 2018 05:01)

    You made some decent points there. I looked on the web for the problem and located most people is going coupled with with the web site.


  • #13

    IT Company Abu Dhabi (Thursday, 27 December 2018 13:13)

    Your article shown as partner should be trustworthy, your skills over the all article is very good. even i never used to read all article but yours i read it all,

  • #14

    telecom (Tuesday, 26 February 2019 01:35)

    I also believe therefore , perfectly pent post! .

  • #15

    tips tricks (Tuesday, 26 February 2019 01:43)

    I also believe therefore , perfectly pent post! .

  • #16

    window (Tuesday, 26 February 2019 01:50)

    I also believe therefore , perfectly pent post! .

  • #17

    AsharSeo (Tuesday, 26 February 2019 04:47)

    I envy your work , thanks for all the great posts .

    easter day 2019

  • #18

    mother's day humour (Monday, 25 March 2019 01:33)

    This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

  • #19

    mother's day humour (Monday, 25 March 2019 01:50)

    Im impressed, I must say. extremely rarely do I discovered a blog thats both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, youve hit the nail on the

  • #20

    didola3608 (Friday, 31 March 2023 14:21)

    gold jewelry bracelets are a bit pricey but they last longer and are very durable too. <a href="https://rollgood.com/">48v ebike battery</a>